Have you went for the entertainment committee of one of your school clubs and
then found that you were a little afraid, not of the club sponsor, but afraid of
knowing what is the correct thing to do?
Afraid of not knowing what is proper?
The president of this club, Barbara, is suggesting that her friends serve with
her on the entertainment committee and the sponsor
is willing that they should go ahead.
The first social event of their season is a mother-daughter tea.
Barbara knows the girls are fearful because they have never
attended a tea before.
Actually, there is nothing to be afraid of, but Anne thinks a tea could not be as
much fun as any kind of game.
Joan is willing but shy, Corine is bored, very bored.
However, Barbara knows that in spite of what they say or how they act, they are
not eager to give a tea because they aren't sure of how they should dress
or how they should behave.
Barbara isn't finding much enthusiasm, but at least the girls are agreeing to
divide up the work of preparing for the tea.
After all, women have been serving tea to their friends for a long, long time and
there is no reason why the girls shouldn't learn how.
A tea is only a formal way of entertaining and showing respect to others.
Attica itself is simply the way one polite person shows
consideration for another.
Joan's share of preparing for the tea is the making out of invitations, but she
is running into problems and would welcome a little help.
Barbara is sympathetic because she has gone through the experience and knows the
questions that are troubling June, but she'd like themselves.
They won't learn if someone else does the work for them.
Corine covers up her not knowing about invitations by pretending that she thinks
teas are dull and beneath her.
Anne doesn't know either, so she acts as if the writing of invitations were a
useless formality, something that should be done much more simply.
Of course, some invitations are made simply and directly.
But should the invitation to a formal tea be made by phone, Barbara is saying
no, definitely no.
Anne should know that the formality of the invitation varies
with the formality of the occasion.
If this were a small tea for just a few close friends, then
a phone call might be all right.
But what they are planning is a more formal occasion, one
for the mothers of the club members.
June thinks it is about time she consulted a book of etiquette
and found out for a tea.
Now Anne and June are ready to admit that they too are curious.
So Barbara explains that the invitation is like a memorandum.
It is sent two weeks in advance to allow the guests time to plan on attending.
The invitation needs to give only the name, the date, the hour, and the place,
but it may give the purpose as well.
It may be thought of as telling like a newspaper story, the who,
what, why, when, and where.
The forms shown in the etiquette books do not have to be followed strictly.
They can be varied to meet different needs.
Barbara is willing to make out an invitation form for their use, but she does
insist that they all help in the writing so
that they may practice their learning.
Barbara and June believe they have the invitation made out correctly
now, but have they?
The Teenagers Club requests the pleasure of your company on Friday the 6th of
October from four until six in Stanley Hall.
And now there is another matter that Barbara is concerned with.
What about the handwriting itself?
Would anyone be flattered to receive an invitation as messy as this?
Anne can write clearly and evenly, and she should, so that her
handwriting can be read easily.
This is all that is required of her.
A handwritten invitation is meant to be a friendly and personal message.
The handwriting shouldn't be childish or affected or badly spaced. It should be
neat and well-mannered.
The writing doesn't have to be perfect or an imitation of an engraved card.
But as a matter of courtesy, the person who receives it
should be able to read it easily.
But what of the RSVP in the corner? Would, please reply, be better?
Anyway, Barbara is making the girls learn the basic ideas, that the invitation
should be as formal as the occasion will be, and that the form of the insult, the
basic ideas, are really quite simple.
The invitations have been sent out and the replies are beginning to come back.
But still there is no real enthusiasm for giving the tea.
As far as the girls are concerned, it is all Barbara's idea or the club's idea.
The tea is still a long way off, and they are not eager to be planning for
something they don't expect to enjoy.
Barbara wishes they could see that they haven't any enthusiasm because they
think the party won't be any fun.
They think these parties are involved and stuffy only
because they don't know about them.
She insists that if they don't learn the etiquette of attending
teas, they can never enjoy them.
And if they never go to teas, they will be missing a very enjoyable way of
meeting friends and making new ones.
The etiquette is easy to learn if they will just pay a little attention to it.
For instance, the replies to their invitations. Do they know how a
reply should be made correctly?
Mrs. Samuel Otis Brown accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of the Teen
Timers Club on Friday the 6th of October in Stanley Hall, 367 Cecil Avenue.
Again, the who, what, where, when of the invitation.
Again, it is simple and sensible and not nearly as stiff as it first seems.
Apparently, Corine thinks that there is one part of the tea that she will
enjoy, the formal dress.
However, Joan and Anne think she is overdoing it. And
definitely, so does Barbara.
A tea is formal, yes. And it requires formal dress, yes.
But formal dress must be in good taste.
In the first place, Corine will be acting as a hostess, not a guest.
She will not be wearing a coat, let alone a fur coat.
She will not be carrying a bag.
Corine argues that she ought to be allowed to wear whatever
she thinks is becoming to her.
But June and Anne think she would look silly trying to serve tea to guests in an
ensemble as elaborate as that.
Even if Corine supposed that she were a guest and if she were going to an
extremely formal tea, she would still be far overdressed.
Good taste in dress depends more on line and color than on
richness or ornamentation.
Moreover, in acting as a hostess, Corine will dress quite simply, no gloves, and
certainly not the long white gloves which are intended for formal evening wear.
Jewelry should not be overdone.
Hats are worn only by the guests.
There is nothing at all wrong in Corine's wanting to dress formally, but she must
learn what is in good taste.
Barbara changes the subject to ask Corine what she is
planning as entertainment for the tea.
Corine confesses that she hasn't even thought of it.
Anne's suggestion of a basketball game is vetoed.
It should be something that everyone at the tea, young and old alike, can enjoy.
Corine has suggested dramatic readings.
She, of course, would do the acting, something like the sample she is offering.
But Barbara and June seem to believe that Corine's acting might not
be as entertaining as she thinks.
Anne interrupts to show her idea of what would be a
simple way of dressing for the tea.
The dirndl is simple and colorful, but as the others agree, it lacks dignity.
Corine carried the idea of formal dress to one extreme and is going to the other.
Barbara is trying to explain that etiquette, choosing the correct dress for each
occasion, doesn't require a large or expensive wardrobe.
Good taste doesn't require a great deal of money.
But etiquette and taste must be learned.
The dresses they'll wear as hostesses will be formal but simple.
While serving tea, they will not want to be encumbered with gloves, hats,
heavy ornaments or corsages.
The requirements of etiquette are only sensible, and good taste requires that
each person choose clothes which will set off his personality to best advantage.
That's only sensible too.
Anne's wanting to wear her tailored suit is wrong for her as a hostess, although
it would be all right for a guest.
Moreover, the lines of a tailored suit are wrong for her
figure and make her look heavier.
Since the girls are so uncertain of what is correct and in good taste, Barbara
suggests that they try putting on a style show as the entertainment for the tea.
It would interest everyone, old and young.
Or would they prefer a musical, films, book reviews?
Suddenly another question rises.
Should the type of entertainment have been mentioned on the invitation?
Barbara has to admit she doesn't know.
Actually, her invitation was correct.
A few days after the tea, Anne tries practicing at home.
She has at last admitted to herself that she has much to learn.
She knows she is bungling even though she is trying hard.
But she isn't sure of anything.
Where the teapot should be placed, where the cup should be or the spoons and
plates, how the lemon or cream and sugar are offered.
These are details, but they make all the difference between being
graceful and being awkward.
And when she hears her friends, she hopes she can make them
show her what is right.
Corrine and June are intrigued, and they are sympathetic with Anne because these
same problems have been bothering them.
Anne is discovering that there are a lot of small
questions that need to be answered.
She is beginning to worry about the mistakes that she might make at the tea.
She wants Barbara to show her first how the poorer should serve, correctly.
And afterwards she wants to be shown how a guest should act.
She would like to know even though she won't pour or be a guest.
As for the pouring, that is simple.
Everything is placed where it can be reached easily.
Then one pours in a way that is efficient but also develops graceful habits.
As to how a guest should act, that is simple too.
Barbara knows the questions that are in the minds of the others,
so she will show them the answers.
A guest may go directly to the tea table herself to be served, or she may wait
for someone to serve her.
If she is wearing a veil, she will put it out of her way.
Her bag will then be placed under or over her
arm, and she will remove her gloves.
She will help herself to a napkin, plate, spoon, and whatever she wishes to eat.
The poorer will ask her preference as to lemon or cream and sugar.
Of course, other drinks than tea may be served, coffee for instance, or punch.
The guest will take her choice.
She will continue to chat and eat or drink.
And when she is finished, she will place her plate out of the way.
It is all very simple and really quite enjoyable when one learns how.
Then comes the tea itself.
All is going smoothly.
The guests are being received, and Barbara hopes the girls
will find the tea to be fun.
Anne is meeting in the guest of honor someone like herself.
That's right. She should not be chewing gum.
There's one mistake for Anne, but she's not letting it trouble her.
She ushers the mother and daughter to the tea table, ready to serve them.
So far, there have been no difficulties in the making and receiving of
introductions, and Barbara hopes her girls will do well
even though she didn't drill them.
They should know the fundamentals of waiting to be introduced, of introducing a
younger person to an older one, of shaking hands only when the person to whom
you are introduced offers a hand.
Joan is doing very well, but Anne is inclined to be athletic in her handshake.
Corrine, too theatrical.
However, improvements in the girls' manners will depend on their
seeing the need for improvements.
And they will see the need when they realize that etiquette is primarily the
means by which one shows his respect and consideration for another.
A party is essentially a way of showing friendliness.
It is the friendliness, respect, and consideration that
count that are really enjoyable.
The tea party could be larger or smaller, more formal or less.
The service could be elaborate or very simple.
And still, the most important thing would be the real sociability behind it.
Anne, for instance, has no difficulty in getting along with her school friends.
She knows what they consider friendliness, and so she
knows how to act toward them.
Soon, perhaps, she will be at ease with any group of people.
These are the things that have to be learned.
The stylist, for example, is very much like Corrine, but she has learned not to
be affected or theatrical, for such manners offend
those who don't understand them.
But she understands Corrine and her theatrical handshake and simply
pulls it down to the proper level.
Corrine is happy to find herself understood and is particularly careful to
introduce the stylist to the poorer in the most gracious way she knows.
Corrine feels especially friendly toward the stylist and finds it a genuine
pleasure to serve her.
Also, Corrine is aware that the stylist is demonstrating, as Barbara has shown
them, how one can deal with the bag and remove her gloves unobtrusive
without interfering with her conversation.
Corrine is realizing, too, that she might never have made the stylist's
acquaintance if it were not for the tea.
For her, this is a strong argument in favor of teas.
The stylist is one with whom she would like to make friends.
For Corrine, the tea is already a success.
Beyond their value is food. They are a symbol of hospitality.
They are a mark and a gesture of friendliness.
And they are served in a manner that is intended to show respect for a
guest's dignity and good breeding.
The silver teapots could just as well be China, the food much simpler, and still
the importance and the value of a tea party would be there.
Corrine is finding it so.
And if we may judge from the way that Anne is bustling about, eager to serve her
guests, it would seem that she, too, is enjoying the party
in a way she didn't anticipate.
But she is trying to serve the guests with the same speed and energy she would
put into a basketball game a little too fast.
And there's a penny.
One shouldn't take accidents too seriously,
except to see that they don't happen again.
The guest of honor puts Anne at ease by congratulating her, ironically, on
playing a fast game and making a good shot.
The sponsor explains that this show is intended only as a beginning.
Style is not the same thing as fashion, which changes.
Style is the use of definite principles of design.
It doesn't require expensive clothes, but it does require good taste.
Style is the art and science of enhancing one's personality through clothes.
It involves the practical considerations of how to emphasize good features and
mask the less attractive ones, of how to use lines, colors, fabrics, so as to
meet the problems of the individual figure.
The tall figure is broken with horizontal lines, the short
figure heightened with vertical locks.
One person appears larger in white.
The heavy person looks smaller in black.
If the hips are large, attention is focused on the shoulders or bust.
The thickness or thinness of fabrics can seem to add or take off weight.
Colors and color combinations are used like lines and accessories for effect.
It is by the awful use of principles like these that the smart woman learns to
dress in a way that suits her personality.
As the stylist begins to analyze the first series of dresses in terms of good
design, the sponsor takes an opportunity to congratulate Barbara and the
committee on their success.
The girls are enjoying themselves. Their fears are gone.
They can look forward with pleasure to other parties.
Each of the girls has learned for herself the real meaning of etiquette.